Inner demons are dangerous.They feed on your insecurities, and their appetite is infinite.They can eat you alive from the inside out, and consume you in entirety. I’ve always acknowledged their existence, but all alone in my room I now have to confront them. It’s the first time I’ve ever looked them in the eyes. Each one is more hideous than the last, and all are competing to take me down. They are a part of me, but do they represent who I am? Their presence suggests I am crazy, their number suggest I am inhuman, and their expressions suggest I am evil. It’s defeating to look at them all at once, and see their determined stances. It’s alarming to know I’ve harbored them all, and nurtured them to imperfection. They have been hibernating during my happiness, gathering potential energy, now at my darkest time they’ve awoke and are blissfully rested. I try to will them back to hibernation but they do not obey. They are wide a wake and pulsating with energy. I take a step towards my door, but one of them blocks it. Another steps forward and knocks me to the ground. I am paralyzed. They all look bigger from down here.They begin walking, enclosing me. Each step they take sucks oxygen out of the air. I gasp and close my eyes. If I die I don’t want these beast to be the last things I see. Oxygen is fleeting, making each breath a struggle. What will they do once they have me? I no longer have the energy to gasp. I feel myself slipping away. I am floating in darkness. My muscles relax and I am enveloped in peace. There are no demons here, nothing can hurt me. I float deeper into the dark abyss. The blackness soothes me. Something disturbs my serenity; a mumble of a sound. I concentrate and listen harder. Sounds like a person, maybe a woman,but who? Who is interrupting my bliss? I try to focus on the darkness but the sound beckons me. It grows louder. I can feel my world shaking. My darkness is stabbed with harsh beam of white light. The brightness shatters my world, and the sound consumes me. I am no longer floating, I am falling. My eyes shoot open and I inhale deeply. The ceiling greets me. I rotate my stiff neck, clearly I am not paralyzed. I sit up and realize the demons are gone. I don’t know when or if the monsters will be back, but I can’t think about that now. The sound is real. I walk to my door, there are no demons blocking it now. I twist and pull the knob and a smile climbs on my face. My mother’s laughter fills my room.
I am a TV Addict. Actually, I can’t remember the last time I sat in front of a TV. I watch everything on my laptop. Anyways, I am a TV addict and these are my confessions(cue Usher music):
- I get addicted to shows very easily, and I have no favorites. The list of shows I love is endless, naming them all would be a blog post in itself.
- I live vicariously through the characters. I get attached, and I feel like I know them (Although I suppose that’s the writers’ intention). Also, I am interested in everything,but committed to nothing. TV allows me to dabble in all of my interest, whether its being a Manhattan doctor on The Mindy Project, or rich and famous on Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
- I learn things while watching. Did you know you could corrupt a magnetic strip on a key card by pushing it against your smartphone screen? I like crime shows. Plus, Switched at Birth is teaching me sign language. I can, with full confidence, tell a deaf person that two hundred cupcakes is too many.
- I act like my favorite characters. Yes, I really am that lame. While in the shower, I sometimes pretend to save the world from terrorist attacks by channeling my inner Jack Bauer. Once,I told my friend to watch Sherlock and she replied back “Yeah I’ve been watching it”. I told her she’s lying and she jokingly said “Don’t assume the worst”. At this very moment, I became Sherlock Holmes. I texted back “I am not assuming anything. Sherlock is an amazing show, and knowing you, you would freak out while watching it and text or call me about how good it is. I received no such communication from you, so therefore you have not watched it. Obviously”(If you know anything about the Sherlock stories, you’d applaud my deduction).
- Sometimes I purposely avoid shows because I know I’ll be hooked. So many people have told me to watch The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, and Breaking Bad. I have no doubt those are amazing shows, but I am already addicted to so many. I can’t afford to be hooked on any others (I will watch them over summer break).
- I look for myself and my best friends in every show I watch. Who is Zoey, who is Lemon, and who is Anna Beth? If I am Zoey, then who is my Wade, who is my George Tucker, and who is my Joel? The hard questions of life.
- I get a rush when I start a new show. There is nothing like the feeling of starting an amazing new show and completely devouring it. Discovering The Carrie Diaries was like walking into a whole new world. Who knew I liked the 80’s?
- I am an expert binge watcher. I flew through four seasons of The Vampire Diaries in roughly two weeks. I’d like to add the month was October, and I am a full time college student. That means there were no vacation breaks, and I had a ton of school work.
- The pain of waiting for a new episode or season is real. It physically hurts. Drop Dead Diva or The Originals anyone?
- I HATE SPOILERS. The fun is in the suspense. Cliff hanger endings are torture but I love the pain. I want to laugh with Ted, Lilly, Marshall, Barney, and Robbin again! And how did he meet the mother?!
- I have to pause because I get the feels. Watching a really good show messes with my emotions. Sometimes I have to hit pause in the middle of an episode and pace around my room because I can’t handle what I am seeing on the screen. I need a minute to adsorb it and let it sink in. When I saw Sherlock kiss a girl, I pointed at the screen, yelled “What the F***!”,and I kid you not, I literally ran around my house . Then I had to rewind and re-watch the moment until I was ready to move on. Its a process.
- I am not a hater (In reference to confession 11). No, I don’t hate the girl he kissed. In fact I quite like Molly Hooper.I freaked out because Sherlock freaking Holmes just kissed a girl, and that is completely out of character. I don’t hate any characters, ever (for the most part). When the hot guy character finds love, I feel happy for him, as if he was real. Also I actually love the villain characters, there would be no show without them. Jim Moriarty may be a creep, but he is a genius.
- I have to watch behind the scenes and bloopers to convince myself its not real. I get so emotionally attached to the characters I sometimes forget its all acting. I have seen all the bloopers and “making of” videos that Youtube has to offer for Merlin, and I still can’t fathom King Arthur’s death. Of course then I look up the actors and become obsessed with their careers, and proceed to think of how I would react if I ever met them. “Oh Bradley James, didn’t see you there” (Don’t pretend like you’ve never done it).
- I feel the need to spread the love. Every time I watch a fantastic show, I have to tell everyone about it. The best feeling is when they actually watch the show and love it as much as me. I just got my friend to watch Modern Family and she is obsessed. Its almost as if I am starting a revolution. I feel powerful.
- Anyone who loves the shows I love needs to be my best friend. Bonding over a TV show is like no other bond. When I hear someone say “I love that show too!” it make my heart flutter, and brings tears of joy to my eyes. Its equivalent to when a lover says “I love you too”.
- People who don’t like a show I like are insignificant. In fact, I take it personally and get a little offended. However, after thinking it through I feel sorry for them. It’s not their fault they’re incompetent.
- I am a TV hipster. When I discover a show before it becomes popular, you best believe I am going to point out my phenomenal taste.
- When a good show slowly goes bad, its like watching a family pet die. Touch was so thought provoking and deep at first, but it became terminally ill. New Girl used to be amazing (and you can hate me for this) but I think its time to put it down.
- I wonder how the Hell the writers come up with these things. There are so many plot twist, and comedic one liners, sometimes I just sit in awe of the creators. What goes on in their heads? Such brilliance. The directors, cast and crew are not to be forgotten. I can’t apprehend how talented these people have to be to produce such great content.
- When a good show ends, it’s painful. Pan Am was under rated and cancelled before it got a chance to take off. Meanwhile its hard to believe that Lost has found it’s peace. It’s difficult to accept, but all good things must come to an end.
Needless to say, I watch these shows alone in my room. Whether I am watching Mind Games on National Geographic, or Suits on USA I fully indulge. You know what? After these confessions, I don’t want to reform. I like being this way. I am a TV addict. So what? (Cue Pink song).